Tag Archives: Parental Leave

MPs back extended leave for parents of premature babies

Yesterday, Steve Reed MP introduced a bill to parliament, calling for extended parental leave for mothers and fathers of premature babies.

The bill, which has gained cross party support, is now scheduled to be debated on 16 December 2016.

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You can watch again, as Steve Reed MP introduces the #PrematurityBill here.

The campaign is beginning to get the publicity it needs!

Born too soon, mothers of premature babies spend weeks or months of their maternity leave visiting tiny and often critically ill babies in hospital. Steve said;

“Having a premature baby is one of the most traumatic experiences that any parent can go through. Instead of bringing home the healthy baby they had longed for, their tiny baby is put inside an incubator, fighting for its life, surrounded by tubes, wires and bleeping monitors. Instead of holding their baby close, these parents can only watch as their baby struggles to breathe, dependent on life support and intensive care.”

More than 110, 000 people have now signed the petition to extend leave for families of premature babies and the campaign has been receiving high profile media attention.

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Is change is possible?

YES, and the precedent has already been set. New Zealand currently offers extended leave, as well as other European countries such as Finland, Iceland and Croatia.

Will change happen?

YES!  With the support of the public and cross party parliamentary support for the bill, change can happen!

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Top 10 of 2015!

top tenA huge thank you to everyone who has written, contributed, shared and read; each and everyone helping us to raise awareness in 2015!

So, here goes…. Our Top Ten most read posts of the last 12 months!

At 10. Our Story “In those first few days I was lost and empty; the emotional impact of leaving hospital without a baby in your arms is hard to describe…..” 

9. Starting School a year too soon “He continues to meet all his milestones, keeps up with his peers and fills me with pride – yet he will still start school a whole academic year too soon. He’s ready and he’s not ready.”

8. 30ml Mum  “Everything revolved around expressing. Was I doing something wrong? Why couldn’t I produce more? Other mums would enter the expressing room and fill bottle after bottle – I couldn’t even get half way.”

7. Too soon, Too early: This Family needs more time  “I felt conflicted and confused. I was grateful that she was well enough to come home, but I couldn’t help feeling cheated out of time and then felt guilty for feeling that way.”

6. Extend Maternity Leave for mothers of premature babies “…more than a quarter of my maternity leave was spent visiting my baby in hospital and according to Bliss, like me, 60 per cent of mothers felt their maternity leave was too short.”

5. Eva & Charlotte’s Story “While NCT groups up and down the country are meeting for coffee and talking about pooing and breastfeeding, NICU mums gather in expressing rooms to discuss breathing support, surgery and methods of tube-feeding. It’s like an alternative reality where life-or-death moments are discussed in the same way as nap routines.”

4. Shock, Trauma & Hope: A life changing journey through neonatal care “…This is the mark of a premmie mum. From nowhere, I was signed up and given lifelong membership to a club I never wanted to join, nor even imagined existed.”

3. Top Ten! | What not to say “At least you got to miss that really big stage”.

2. Longer mat leave for preemie mums: 5 Reasons Why “Mothers of babies born too soon face the agonising journey of leaving hospital without their baby day after day. Any NICU mum will tell you, there is a lot of watching and waiting in neonatal care – waiting for that first precious hold, usually days, sometimes weeks after their baby is born.”

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and finally, our most read post of 2015….

  1. Time to Talk: PTSD the hidden cost of NICU “Nothing can prepare you for parenthood, but you allow yourself to imagine the arrival of your baby; those first precious holds, taking them home to meet loved ones, the time together to grow and bond – and then suddenly everything you imagined is dramatically replaced with the alien and uncertain world of neonatal intensive care.”

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guest blogIf you’d like to write for The Smallest Things or share your story in 2016, then get in touch! Just email Catriona or send in your story (approx. 650 words) to smallestthings@yahoo.com

 

Notice! It’s not quite the end of 2015, and our Top Ten is subject to change as we near the New Year…Check back on midday 31st December 2015 for our final count down!

The parental leave loophole

Mark and Sarah had their premature baby, Sophie, nearly three years ago. This is their story and why they are supporting the campaign.

Sophie iiFollowing a final ‘babymoon’, Sarah had a 32 week scan as part of a research project. Having had a normal pregnancy, we turned up for our scan excited to get a ‘good picture’ of what our little one looked like. There was silence as the sonographer scanned our baby and then disappeared from the room. A foray of consultants arrived speaking in hushed voices.  There was excess fluid in our baby’s abdomen and no one knew whether it was a sign of a severe infection or a chromosomal abnormality.  Tests were performed and we were sent home to wait for the results 48 hours later – but not before termination was suggested to us as a possibility.

The next day Sarah did not feel the baby move and decided to get our baby checked at the hospital’s Maternal Assessment Unit.

Our baby’s heartbeat was irregular so Sarah was admitted immediately to Labour ward while staff tried to delay delivery for 48 hours to allow time for steroids to be given to help our baby’s lungs develop.   A few hours later, shortly after Mark arrived, with the baby’s heart rate plummeting, Sarah was rushed for an emergency caesarean and Sophie was born fighting for her life.

Sophie had to be resuscitated in the delivery room and was immediately rushed to intensive care without us having any chance to hold her. At 32 weeks, she weighed 4lbs 8oz – ‘a good size’ we were repeatedly told and ‘it’s lucky she’s a girl as they’re fighters’. That evening we asked one question: “Will our baby live?”.  There was a long silence. “We don’t know. She is very sick.”

Sophie iThe next 48 hours were critical as the amazing neonatal team worked to stabilise Sophie and identify what was making her so unwell.  After 72 hours, Sophie stabilised and was diagnosed with listeria.  Sarah had not been ill but had clearly passed it on to her; which was something she struggled with. Sophie spent a total of six weeks on the neonatal unit, slowly getting stronger and gradually we were able to hold her for short periods rather than just touch her through an incubator.

Mark took his paternity leave at once and was the main person at Sophie’s bedside whilst Sarah recovered from the caesarean. Sarah stayed in hospital for 5 days following which she spent six weeks travelling every day to be by Sophie’s side. It was one of the longest periods of our lives and both of us were emotional wrecks. We both cried daily until she came home. After only two short weeks Mark had to return to work as his paternity leave was finished.

The day Sophie came home was exciting but daunting as we now had sole charge of this little person with none of the monitors and support we had been used to over the last six weeks. Around that time Mark’s work sent him to Ireland for a few weeks. He had no paternity leave left and had used his vacation. There was no option for him to stay at home with Sarah. As a result, Sarah was left on her own looking after a premature baby and felt unprepared, exhausted and alone. When they sent us home Sophie was now a relatively normal new born baby – needed constant feeding and changing. Yet we felt as if we had fallen into a parental leave loophole.

As we raised Sophie we were incredibly conscious of every milestone. No one could tell us if our child would have developmental difficulties. In fact, there were some indications from brain scans that she might – but we would not know for sure until a MRI scan at 12 months. Suddenly, those first months seemed every more important so that we could give Sophie every chance of recovery. Midwives were telling us that breast was best for as long as possible. Every book was telling us to engage in every way with our child to help her develop. The health visitors at the hospital had told us that we needed to give her extra affection to compensate for the weeks in an incubator. All good advice. All impossible to achieve when you are back at work and unable to be with your child for the full maternity leave because you had to start it early but could do little more than peer through the incubator glass. Like so many parents, because Sarah’s maternity leave began at actual birth, not at corrected birth, we were unable to spend as much time with her in that six to twelve month period as other mothers. Even though every medical professional was telling us that our child probably needed support even more than others.

We also noticed great variability in support for parents of premature babies. In the hospital we always found excellent clinical care. But we also found that some staff simply ignored Mark when updating us. The expressing room in the hospital had clearly seen better days and served to depress Sarah’s spirits even further at times – not what was needed when breast milk is so important for premature babies. When we were out of hospital in the community we found an excellent health visitor who came frequently to support us. But we also found health visitors unable to calculate corrected age and insistent as they clearly incorrectly plotted weight versus age. In short, we felt there was a range of improvements needed for premature babies relating to better technical training for community staff, better understanding of the role of fathers and general improvement in empathy for the emotional journey that parents are on.

Thankfully Sophie had a clear brain scan at 12 months. All she has been left with is a squint – not bad for someone who nearly died and it was suggested we terminate.

We are supporting the smallest things campaign as we want to make things easier for other families who find themselves in the same situation in future.

Mark and Sarah are supporting the Smallest Things petition to extend maternity leave for mothers of babies born too soon. If you agree, please support and SIGN our petition too – SIGN NOW!

Sophie ii

 

 

 

 

The real cost of NICU

When my first son was born ten weeks early, I had no idea that maternity leave would begin the very next day, months before we would bring him home. I felt cheated out of precious time together – I should still be pregnant, planning and preparing, yet instead I was grieving for lost time we would never get back.

smallest thingsBorn too soon, the reality of life in neonatal care is very different from what a mother would usually expect from the early days of maternity leave. Lines, monitors, life support machines and recovery from what is often a traumatic birth. Mothers wait days, if not weeks to hold their babies for the first time and face the agonising journey home without their baby each day. The very real cost of premature birth is not only measured in terms of financial pressures placed on families, most recent studies suggest in excess of £2,000 for an average NICU stay, but also upon the long term health implications for the mother, her ability to return to work and her babies development.

Extending statutory parental leave and pay would give mothers the emotional and financial support needed at a time of great stress and trauma – in turn leading to better postnatal health, a more positive return to work and better outcomes for babies development.

We have written to the government minister, Nick Boyles MP, responsible for parental leave and are petitioning the Secretary of State, the Rt Hon Savijd Javid MP and colleagues at the department for Business, Innovation and Skills, calling on them to recognise the significant and unique needs of families with children born prematurely and to extend statutory leave accordingly.

You can help! – Sign our petition and share with family and friends SIGN NOW!