An incubator holds my baby

An incubator holds my baby; a baby I am no longer with.

I long to feel just one more kick, to feel and see my belly move one last time.

I promise I won’t complain about my aching back, the tiny feet that push at my rib cage or the baby that bounces on my ever weakening bladder. 

I miss my baby; I miss my baby bump.

An incubator holds my baby; a baby I am no longer with.

Inside I feel so empty and outside I feel numb.

I do not recognise this person the NICU nurses are calling ‘mum’.

Through the incubator, I’m almost too scared to touch, my tiny little person who has arrived here far too soon.

My baby isn’t ready, in fact nor am I! And now he’s here, my heart breaks every time I say goodbye.

Smallest Things

An incubator holds my baby; the incubator that has taken my place…

and here I stand, desperate to shout – ‘it’s me, I should be the one keeping him safe’.

Inside I feel so empty and outside I feel numb.

I do not recognise this person the NICU nurses are calling ‘mum’

cuddles

Mothers of premature babies wait days, if not weeks to hold their baby for the first time. The uncertainty of neonatal care and the journey from birth to discharge home can last months – this is why the Smallest Things are campaigning for NICU mums to have more time with their babies.

If, like us, you think paid maternity leave should be extended for mothers of premature babies, please SIGN our PETITION!

One thought on “An incubator holds my baby

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s